#most of this au was to make me laugh

[blade-that-was-broken]

omg the jd trying to rescue floyd without remembering him cracks me up.

Floyd: John Dory!!!

JD: (pointing) pink brother who sent me a letter!

This is so accurate it hurts.

I literally barked out a laugh when I read it. Cause it’s so true. JD sitting there like oh well, yeah. You. The guy I totally know… right.

What’s even funnier is that it happens and Floyd had literally no idea that JD doesn’t remember him.

I have a bit written but I’ve got work to do on it.

Literally there’s the part where Floyd tells him the only way is the perfect family harmony and JD is like…

“Right… the perfect family harmony…. I totally know exactly what that is….”

(Spoiler alert - he doesn’t know what that is)

[anxiousapplepie]

Roleswap Sus event combos Everybody gets a turn being the suspect and the suspectee! Nobody enjoys the experience, though.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

This one is dedicated to @shirokokuro, who made a lifeguard AU fic to fill the void where there was none.

Read it here! It's great: https://archiveofourown.org/works/51598429

[unfinishedslurs]

The boy stops in his tracks. “I know you,” he says, tilting his head curiously. He’s not tall, but he’s regal nonetheless, dressed all in white. Something about him makes Leia’s hair stand on end, and although she hides it she feels a stirring in her own chest. I know you like I know my own soul, she thinks wildly, and wonders where it came from. Has she gone insane?

“That’s nice,” she says, and shoots him anyway.

He deflects it in a flash of light, a glowing blue laser sword appearing in his hand like magic. She’s only seen one of those before, and it’s Vader’s. If this boy is anything like Vader, she realizes, she’s in deep shit.

She’s smart enough to know when she’s outmatched. Leia makes the tactical decision to run for her life.

Later, as she’s getting the hell out of there, she wonders why he didn’t try to stop her.

She remembers being young and tugging on her mothers skirts, demanding to know why their guest was so sad. “Does he not like it here?” She’d asked, and then, trembling, because Kenobi always seemed saddest around her. “Is it…because of me?”

“Oh, Leia,” her mother sighed, lifting her into her arms. “It’s not that, I promise.”

“Then what is it?”

“Master Kenobi lost a child under his care, years ago.” Breha’s eyes grew deeper, darker. “It was not his fault, but he blames himself. You remind him of that child, that’s all.”

Leia had quieted at that, contemplative.

The next time she’d seen Master Kenobi, she had given him a hug. He didn’t seem to know what to do with that, so she resolved to give him more of them. “He’s lonely,” she’d told her mother. “No one should be lonely.”

Looking at Obi-Wan Kenobi now, the memory seemed so far away. He’d aged thirty years in the ten it had been.

He looks, Leia thinks with a small twinge of regret, very lonely.

“Leia,” he greets. “It’s been a long time.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Leia sees a glint of white.

Kenobi freezes in his tracks. “Luke?” He whispers, and through the distance Leia can hear it as if he’d been speaking directly into her ear.

Master Kenobi lost a child under his care, her mother whispers in her head. He blames himself.

In an instant, Leia understands everything.

Kenobi is still staring at the boy he’d lost so long ago when Vader cuts him down.

Later, as she’s pacing around on the Falcon to Han muttering darkly about Princesses and supernatural abilities, she rememberers the way the boy collapsed, as if all his strings had been cut. Vader was too occupied with him to even look at her as she shot at him desperately.

Luke. She hates him more than she hates herself.

“They know where you are,” he hisses frantically. “They’re coming for you. You have to run.”

“Wait!” Leia quickly pulls up their sonar. Nothing yet, but it would explain the distant queasiness she’d felt since they’d landed. She tended to trust her gut. “How do you know? How much time do we have?”

“Not important, and not enough,” he says. “I have to go, and so do you. You need to leave yesterday.”

“How do I know I can trust you? I don’t even know who you are.”

He pauses. “Call me Skywalker.”

“That’s not an answer, Skywalker.”

“Yes it is.”

She opens her mouth to argue, but there are faint voices on the other end, drawing nearer.

“Shit,” Skywalker mutters. “I have to go. I’ll be in contact, okay? Don’t ever tell me where you are, or where you’re heading. Vader and Palpatine aren’t shy about reading minds. Just leave as soon as you can, and figure out the rest.”

“But—“

It’s too late. The comm has disconnected.

She stares down at it, disbelieving. How would the Empire know they’re here? Why should she trust a stranger who somehow got her personal comm code?

Gut feeling or not, on paper this was a perfect location. Supplied, armored, and most importantly, extremely well hidden. There was no real reason to think it would possibly be found out.

It’s probably a trap. Almost definitely a trap.

Han sticks his head in the door, a sour look on his face. “Hey Princess, can you tell these idiots—“

She makes a decision then and there.

“We’re leaving.”

“What?”

“We’re evacuating, effective immediately.” She pushes past him, and he follows so close he’s nearly stepping on her heel.

“Why? I think it’s pretty cozy here. Actual sunlight doesn’t hurt, either.”

“Apparently too cozy.” She grabs the first person she sees, a pilot who stares at her with wide eyes. “Emergency evacuation. Spread the word to pack everything you can and leave, I’ll let you know where we’re headed when we’re in orbit.”

He salutes and scurries off.

“Woah, hey now.” Han snatches at her elbow until she turns around to face him. “What’s going on?”

“There’s a new informant. He told me the Empire knows we’re here. They’re coming for us.”

“And you trust this person because…”

“I don’t have a choice,” she snaps. Someone runs past them, holding three packs filled to the brim with rations. “It’s either he’s lying and we’re not in danger, or he’s telling the truth and we’re going to die if we don’t listen. It’s not exactly hard math.”

It could be a trap of course, but he hadn’t suggested any sort of direction or destination to follow, and Leia wasn’t inclined to share. Especially not after his tidbit about Vader and Palpatine reading minds.

He squints at her. “That’s not it.”

“What?”

“I don’t believe you,” he insists. He’s so infuriating. Leia doesn’t know why she hasn’t kicked him out yet.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yes you do, and you’re either gonna tell me why, or find a different transport when we head out of here.”

“Who said I was riding on your hunk of junk?” She demands. She actually was planning on going with them, since the Falcon has more than enough room for all the supplies that can’t fit in the other ships and none of the trustworthiness of the other pilots, but Han doesn’t need to know that.

“Well?”

Damn him. Damn him for knowing how to read her. She doesn’t know when she let that happen.

“I feel it,” she admits, defeated. “Something tells me he’s trustworthy. We’ll wait and see if it’s right.”

He studies her. She holds her head high, but inside she’s jittery at the scrutiny. They don’t have time for this.

“Yeah, all right,” Han finally says.

“Really?”

“Yes, really.” He rolls his eyes, like she’s not acting absolutely insane by putting all her trust in a random man she’s never even met. “Now come on, Princess, weren’t you the one who said we had to hurry?”

What is it about this man that makes it impossible to tell whether she wants to punch him or drag him into the nearest supply closet? They don’t have time to find out.

“So there’s good news and bad news.”

“Bad news first,” she demands.

“They know there’s a mole.”

“Shit.” Of course they know, how could they not? She should have been more careful, less obvious about the correlation of their movements with the Empire’s plans. “The good news?”

“They’ve tasked me with hunting down this ‘pathetic rebel spy,’” Skywalker says, humor in his voice. “That should buy me some time.”

Leia can’t quite stop the snort she lets out. “Seriously?”

“Yep. You’re speaking to a professional mole-hunter, here.”

“Well congratulations on the promotion, Skywalker.”

“Thank you,” he says grandly. Then, quieter, “It won’t last, Princess. They’ll find out eventually.”

“I know. Just hang in there, it will be over soon.”

“Will it?” He asks, suddenly sounding very young. She realizes that she has no idea how old he is. She doesn’t know anything about the man who has saved them more times than she cared to admit, and the idea rattles her until they sign off.

Later, she looks up the name Skywalker in their archives. There are a few results, but only one sticks out.

Anakin Skywalker, Jedi Knight and hero of the Clone Wars. Killed at the hands of Darth Vader. There are gossip articles too, speculations on his relationship with the pregnant Senator Padmé Amidala, who died around the same time Skywalker did. The baby, it seems, died with her.

Unless he didn’t.

It’s ridiculous. It’s impossible. The idea is so ludicrous that Leia almost rejects it entirely.

But it makes sense. By the Maker, it makes sense.

The child of Anakin Skywalker, it seems, would be a powerful Force user indeed. Powerful enough for Kenobi to take the baby and run. Powerful enough for the Emperor to want him for his own gain. Powerful enough to send Vader after Kenobi and take the boy himself.

Maybe even powerful enough to shield his mind from Vader and Palpatine’s intrusions.

Powerful enough to hide the fact that he’s a spy.

Leia sinks into her chair, covering her face as she laughs.

Maybe Luke isn’t so bad after all.

“No, no, no,” she mutters, digging through the smoking wreckage of the TIE fighter. “Don’t be dead, please don’t be dead.”

“Princess…” Han lays a hand on her shoulder that she immediately shrugs off.

“No, he’s not dead. He’s not. Luke!”

A faint cough answers her, and she’s so relieved to hear it she could cry. Behind her, Han starts bellowing for a medic and, “Some damn help here, do you expect us to move all this ourselves?”

“Luke, it’s me,” she sobs. “It’s Leia. You’re at the Rebel Base. You’re safe.”

More coughing, and there’s a worrying rasp to his voice when he says, “You know…my name?”

“I figured it out.”

“Smart.” This time, the coughing is so bad Leia and Han both wince.

“Shit, kid,” Han says, moving another piece of rubble. “Don’t talk. We’re gonna get you out of here, all right?”

“Stand back,” Luke chokes out.

“What?”

“Stand back. Please.”

Han protests, but something in Leia knows they should listen to him. She drags him back, and motions everyone else to fall back with them. They do, albeit reluctantly.

“Clear,” she calls, hoping Luke can hear her.

The TIE explodes.

“Fuck!” Han goes back in, Leia on his heels with the terrifying feeling that she’d just allowed Luke to die, before they both stop in their tracks. Around them, the broken pieces of the TIE are floating.

And curled up in the middle is a man dressed all in white.

“Luke!” She pushes past Han to start dragging him out, and after another moment of staring around them, he helps her.

As soon as they get clear, the pieces fall to the ground with a clatter. Luke falls limp with them.

Han is still looking at the TIE. “Can you do that?” He asks quietly.

Leia pauses her examination of the unconscious man in front of her to glare at him. “Is that what you’re most concerned with right now? Really?”

“Excuse me for asking, Princess!”

“It’s white,” Luke grumbles, pulling at his hospital gown bitterly. “I hate wearing white.”

“Should I be offended?”

He rolls his eyes. “Don’t even. You look great and you know it. I just feel like I never left.”

“Well,” she says gingerly. “I guess it’s a good thing you got sick of it. If we went around in matching outfits all the time, people might think we’re twins.”

He snorts. “Yeah, right.”

[arithmonym]

modernAU!gideon wrote this post. to me. (cloth barista is corona, wire barista is harrow.)

[spaceratprodigy]

Ooh palettes 🥰 Jasper and Faith in either Malabar squirrel or cherry pie?

@darkfire1177 — [ palette prompts ]

✨ The Unplanned Variables ✨

[spotaus]

Hi guys, this is usually what a doodle page ends up looking like <3 (oh, and @ancha-aus thought you might like this! Not writing but certainly fuel to my fire lol-)

This one is New Age filled!!! (Close-ups abd Lore beneath the cut!)

1) Night and Cross!

Night is actually very clingy once he's a teen. He doesn't usually realize it, but around the castle he'll snake to be closer to his Knights so long as there's no one he needs to keep his composure infront of is nearby. Cross is the one who's not used to physical touch (when it's not Ink ofc) so Night in his personal bubble makes his heart melt but also scares tf out of him <3

2) Error and Night's Meeting!

Error was carrying his whole life on his back and trying not to get arrested for unintentional property damage at this point, so when he saw the chance to get back at his brother and prove he was strong enough? Yeah, he got that on chance instantly. And was VERY smug when Nightmare chose him. (Also, Error is wearing gloves, so less Haphephobia)

3) Dream and Blue designs!

I think these are good tentative designs! Dream probably has a more regal fit, but he likes to play up that rugged exile look- He's inspired by Archers, while Blue takes on that classic Knightly-vibe. Their equipment is mostly stolen from Night's troops or brought with them from Blue's home kingdom.

Also, Dream is approx Killer's height at this point, shorter than Cross and *much* shorter than Apple!Nightmare. (Hc that Skeletons tend to be tinier in stature thanks to weird monster beauty standards. Horror and Geno's fam are outliers.)

4) Horror and Dust designs!

Horror is naturally a very *large* monster. He's very malnourished when Nightmare meets him, but by the time he's a Knight Nightmare has made sure that's no longer the case. He actually loves comfy, simple clothes, but to play up the whole 'strong mysterious' bit he wears a more barbaric Knight's garb. He doesn't mind acting scary, it's more fun that way :]. Dust is very very small, and envies horror sometimes for his size, but his tiny stature let's him control his body and move a lot quicker. He's very much based on a rogue, and usually covers the lower part of his face w/ a black cloth, and the upper part w/ his hood or mask. Dust only removes both to bathe, eat, or relax in a safe location. (Ignore that I can't draw the stupid gaster blaster lmao-)

These last two were space-fillers, but Cross and his Borzoi (Windmill, otherwise known as Milly (Killer named her-)) and really bad first wips of Ccino! I think Ccino was a chubby, happy toddler, but lost a lot of 'weight' (bone mass? Magic?) due to stress and pressure and bad eating habits. So it isn't until a while after the Coronation that he starts to relax abd feel safe enough to eat normal meals (Nightmare used to guilt him into eating snacks together, but as his boss (and younger brother) he can encourage it more often). By the time Killer shows he's still not quite healthy, but he's better. As more weight is lifted off his shoulders, the better he is. (That 'beauty' most people saw was a more stereotypical slimness, but Killer never stopped seeing Ccino as beautiful-) I think he never looked traditionally underweight, so no one noticed, and it was only much later that Night processed it. (And maybe it's why Dream hardly recognized him later on-)

[alchemist-lyssa]

cunty fox siblings AU, because i need Lyssa x Vere dynamics in any and every way possible

[possamble]

realizing im kind of a weirdo about laios and marcille

[ionlymadethissoicouldleaveanask]

After listening to @mrtobenamedlater talk about how much he hates Sarah Palmer, I felt an incredible urge grow within me to write a story.

In this story, Cadmon Lasky survives and was just cryofrozen by ONI in an effort to keep the Covenant secret. Tom and Chyler end up finding him with Sully's help, and when he gets frozen he decides to become an S-IV.

Eventually he meets another Spartan. She doesn't tell him what ship she's stationed on because of reasons. Anyway they fall for each other, but he's too afraid to tell his little brother (who is now old enough to be his dad) for fear of causing some sort of incident. When things finally do come to a head and he decides to introduce them, he sets up a meeting while they are all on shore leave on Earth at the same time.

Tom and Chyler walk up to the restaurant, eager to meet Cadmon's new lady love. When they get there, they see the commander of the Infinity's Spartan contingent, Sarah Palmer, standing outside looking like she's waiting for someone. They exchange their friendly greetings, finding it odd that she's there, until a cheerful voice calls out from behind them, "Tom, Chyler, Sarah! What, did you guys all catch a cab here together?" He walks up and confidently kisses Sarah on the cheek.

Tom and Sarah both go completely white. "Wait, you're..." Tom stutters. At the same moment Sarah is saying, "You mean he's your..."

Cadmon is confused. Chyler nearly falls over laughing. Tom and Sarah spend an evening not knowing whetehr they should laugh or cry. Everyone has a great time.

[emmodii-mode]

In my defence, what was I supposed to do? Leave their corpses to rot?

[jtl-fics]

Loving all the crazy names ya’ll keep sending me for FF. I made a joke about it in the replies to the latest part but honestly am thinking about writing an offshoot series sometime with what a reveal would look like for all the silly names ya’ll have sent me.

I’m thinking of calling it “A Freshman by any other name.”

[angelmichelangelo]

top ten image to scare you

[autumnfangirler]

Becker family shenanigans >:) (ft. @villainsidestep's fawn becker and @idlenight's river becker! this was also inspired by their posts)

text is in the alt text, and click for better quality because tumblr is apparently determined to kill the quality of everything i post

[rizzulusarcturizz]

black brothers hurt and comfort snippet- muggle au

“Do you hate me for leaving you there?”

“No. I thought I did for a while but I wasn’t really angry at you. More angry at the universe, I guess.”

That’s a sentiment Sirius is familiar with; the encompassing rage that comes with knowing you were dealt a shit hand. Sirius had spent his entire life angry: angry at his family, angry at his brother, angry at his friends…angry at the universe, as Regulus put it. Spewing up anger and resentment everywhere, but rarely in the right direction. 

Remus had told him once that he burned himself with that rage more than he burned the people he directed it at. He had told Remus that he didn’t know what he was talking about. Remus doesn’t talk to him much these days.

“I would understand, you know. If you did hate me.” murmured Sirius, “The things I said when I left…”

“I said some terrible things too. I’m told fighting is what brothers do, especially when the brothers in question are pissed off teenagers.” Regulus took another drag of his cigarette, his eyes clouded with something Sirius couldn’t quite decipher, “Being angry was easier than missing you. If I stopped being angry I’d just be sad and back then I wouldn’t have survived it. That’s not your fault.”

“I could’ve left a number, an address, a name…something! Something so you knew where to find me!”

“No, you couldn’t have.” sighed Regulus

“Yes, I could’ve! I was just being a selfish prick that didn’t-”

“Sirius! You couldn’t have left anything for me because then our parents might have found it. You couldn’t have left anything because you didn’t know if you could trust me not to snitch. You were fifteen for fucks sake.”

“But-”

“ Sirius, just stop. I can’t stop you from being angry at yourself but don’t ask me to be angry at you too. There’s nothing for me to forgive.”

Sirius froze, not knowing what to say anymore. He had chased Regulus across the country ready for his brother’s righteous fury and bitter disappointment. He had prepared a million different apologies, a million different ways to grovel…he hadn’t once considered the possibility that Regulus wouldn’t carry any resentment. He had left his little brother alone in Hell as the sole focus of the Devil herself. He tried to open his mouth, tried to say something but a sob tore out of his chest instead. He was so tired.

Regulus stared, wide eyed and unsure before dropping his cigarette and tentatively wrapping his arms around Sirius. There had been a time when it was Regulus that curled into his brother’s chest, tears and snot covering his face. Something inside Sirius withered at the role reversal; he had come to offer closure and comfort to Regulus but here Regulus was providing it to him instead.

“Oh Siri…you’re not a bad person. Bad things happened to you, and maybe you did some bad things along the way, but you’re not a bad person.”

“You don’t know me anymore, Reggie.” croaked Sirius through his tears

“Don’t be ridiculous, of course I know you. You’re my big brother. A decade and a few thousand miles doesn’t change that.” scoffed Regulus, slowly relaxing in to the hug

“I love you. I’m sorry it’s been so long since I told you.”

“I love you too, you idiot. Now come on, I refuse to get teary eyed on the street where anyone could see me. I have a reputation to maintain and you’re certainly not helping.”

Sirius startled at the unexpected laugh that tore its way out of his chest; perhaps Regulus was right, even after a decade and a few thousand miles, some things do stay the same.